The Last Pilgrim

Once upon a time, not so long ago, right here in the Town of Mallowrock there were seven people sitting in the Inn of the Shorn Sheep discussing the increasing presence of The Terror. Now none of them knew what The Terror was, for none had ever seen it, but these were fine upright citizens who believed that something must be done to stop The Terror.

Now their real names will not interest you, but I will tell you the names I have given them. At the head of the table sat Governor Authority, a watchful man who liked a well-run town. Taxes were paid on time, children went to bed when they were told, and punishment was meted out to those who defied Authority. To the Governor’s left, was the long-married couple, Sir Passion and Lady Love. As long as they had each other, both got along well with Governor Authority, but when found alone, they were as likely to flout Authority as to obey him. To the Governor’s right was Sergeant Bravery. He was decorated with medals from the wars he had fought and the kings he had served, and there was no one on whom Authority depended more than Sergeant Bravery.

Also at the table was a boy named Youth and a maiden named Beauty. Maid Beauty caught everyone’s eye. She had the blush of dawn and was in the blossom of her womanhood. She believed that everything should be blessed by beauty and often meddled in the keeping of people’s homes and the cleaning of the streets. Next to her, Master Youth was an impetuous fellow who faced the future squarely and was often harshly critical of where Authority had led them thus far. The future, he declared, belonged to him and Authority should pay more heed.

Finally, there was an old man at the table who called himself Wisdom. It often fell to the old man to arbitrate when there was a disagreement and to counsel both Youth and Authority in their conflicts. It was said all around Mallowrock that everything went better when Wisdom was around.

Now the subject of their gathering on this night, as I said, was the encroaching Terror and what it was doing to the people. All these fine citizens could see that there was a threat and that the citizenry depended on them to find a solution, but they could not agree among themselves what that solution would be. Even Wisdom was at a loss.

Eventually the old man, however, came up with an idea that seemed good to all of those gathered. There was an oracle at the joining of two rivers, in a deep valley, on the other side of the mountains. The seven decided that they should travel together to ask the oracle what they should do about the approaching Terror. And so it was decided that they would go to the Oracle of Twin Rivers and take whatever advice they received. So that the people of Mallowrock were not alone, they decided to leave the beloved Dame Hope in charge of the town in their absence and undertake the pilgrimage.

Governor Authority ordered a horse and cart to be brought to the door of the Inn and the seven pilgrims set out on their journey. Well, that is to say they all climbed aboard the cart and took their places, but the cart did not move. Looking for an answer, it was soon discovered that there was no one to drive the cart. They called for volunteers to drive them to the Oracle of Twin Rivers and suddenly the inn yard was silent and empty. No one wanted to undertake this dangerous journey with the seven pilgrims.

It was then that the town’s Drunk snored from his resting place on the steps of the inn, and immediately he was drafted. He was seated on the driver’s bench and told to drive the pilgrims out of town and to the Oracle of Twin Rivers. You might think this a strange choice, but there were no other resources to be had and in truth the Drunk was a good man who just liked his wine a little more than the others. After a few tries, he mounted the driver’s bench and cracked a whip over the horse to carry the cart out of town.

On the right side of the cart were seated Lady Love, Sir Passion, and Old Man Wisdom. On the left side of the cart were Sergeant Bravery, Maid Beauty, and Master Youth. Governor Authority stood in the front of the cart, not, as you might expect, to give direction to the driver, but rather facing the back of the cart so he could better keep an eye on where they had been and on his fellow pilgrims.

It was a glorious departure. People from the town turned out to cheer their heroes on and to wish them good speed on their journey. Down the main street of town the cart was pulled, right up to the stone arch at the entrance.

Having driven carts before, when they reached the stone arch Drunk called out in a slurred voice, “Duck!” But there was so much cheering and adoration going on Authority paid no attention to Drunk. Thus it happened that when they went through the stone arch, Authority was struck in the back of the head by the arch and fell dead off the cart.

You might think that this ended the adventure, but the others were determined to fulfill their pilgrimage, and as they had all bent down to see the fallen Authority, they missed being struck by the arch themselves and did not share his fate. Not looking back, Drunk continued to drive the horse and cart forward.

During the first few days on the road, Sir Passion noticed that Lady Love looked kindly on Sergeant Bravery. She admired his strength and rugged good looks and smiled on him often. This stirred Sir Passion to action. He argued first with Lady Love, but when she smiled at him just as sweetly, he could not vent his anger. So he turned on Sergeant Bravery and challenged him. It was nothing to Sergeant Bravery and he encouraged Sir Passion to be calm. But when Sir Passion struck out at Sergeant Bravery, the soldier stood fast and the attack could not overcome him. Moved to rash acts, Sir Passion threw himself at Sergeant Bravery, but overshot his mark and plunged from the cart down the mountainside and was killed. Now there were only five pilgrims in the cart, and though saddened by the loss of Passion, Love continued on with the group.

They had progressed far into the mountains when they first noticed that Maid Beauty was fading. The cold mountain air and harsh wind were taking their toll on her. Though she struggled to maintain the appearance of health, indeed she sickened. Her voice became hollow, her hair tangled, and her eyes dim. Maid Beauty withered in her seat and without being noticed by the determined pilgrims, she died and fell from the cart. And then there were four pilgrims.

You might find it strange, but Sergeant Bravery, Lady Love, Master Youth, and Old Man Wisdom got on well together. They found they had no real need for Authority and rested more soundly without Beauty or Passion. And so, it was a sad day indeed when the Pilgrims were accosted by brigands on the road. They surrounded the cart and demanded that the pilgrims render up their valuables. Lady Love, Master Youth, and Old Man Wisdom were in the process of removing their jewels (of course Drunk had nothing of value) when Sergeant Bravery jumped up to withstand the villains. He was outnumbered, but did that matter to him? No, not at all. He was tired and they were fresh, but did that stop Bravery? No sir! He fought valiantly to save the others without thought for himself. He matched blow for blow with their swords and for a time it looked as though he would prevail. But even Bravery has its limits and was eventually overwhelmed by the bandits and killed. The victorious villains took their plunder and left Drunk to drive the remaining three pilgrims where he would.

It was a dark and stormy night as the cart struggled to the top of the pass. It appeared that the poor horse would not be able to quite crest the mountain. Suddenly struck by a good idea, Master Youth impetuously leapt from the cart and pushed with all his might. His effort won the summit and the cart picked up speed as it headed downhill on the other side. Youth attempted to leap back into the cart, but was caught in the spokes of the wheel and crushed to death beneath its weight.

Somewhere as they journeyed down the far side of the mountain, Wisdom failed and died in the night. Morning found only Lady Love and Drunk still remaining of the party who had left Mallowrock.

Now Lady Love had never liked Drunk’s driving, but she kept her peace thinking that with gentleness and kindness she would eventually be able to change him. Heedless of her pleas, Drunk allowed the cart to careen down the mountain, gaining speed as they went. It was a particularly harrowing ride, and when the cart slid out of control as they rounded a hairpin turn, Lady Love was thrown from the cart and down the mountain to her death. Oblivious to what had happened; Drunk righted the wagon and continued to drive.

Unknown to the others, Councilman Pride had stowed away in the cart, jealous of the honors heaped on the pilgrims. But Pride would not associate with Drunk, so at the first opportunity he slipped out of the cart and disappeared into the forest.

So, of all the others, only Drunk survived to seek counsel from the Oracle of Twin Rivers. But he never returned. So far as I know, Drunk is out there driving the cart still to this day, looking for his way back home.

Having lost Authority, Passion, Beauty, Bravery, Youth, Wisdom, Love, and Pride, the people of Mallowrock abandoned Hope and fled from the town, leaving it the deserted shell you see here now.

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